this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
