margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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