I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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