Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
