I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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