dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
