At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
