I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
