Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
