Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize