This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
