So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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