so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
