6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
