I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
