omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
