K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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