Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
