So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
