garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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