at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
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