did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Randomize
