Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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