You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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