I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
