All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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