btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
