ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I deserve this hangover.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
