South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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