I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
