Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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