I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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