but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
