yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
