they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
