my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I have aggressive nipples.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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