I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
