i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
