the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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