I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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