I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
