Yo dont text me then not text me
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
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