just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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