I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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