I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
