I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize