Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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