I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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