It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
