I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I deserve this hangover.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
