i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
