so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
