Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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