I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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