Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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