and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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