If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
