Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
