As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
