you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize
