She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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