I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
