those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
