Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Sorry my hands just texted you
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
