I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
