I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
