I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.