Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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