Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
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Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
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somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore